“Numbing the pain for a while will make it worse when you finally feel it.”
Harry Potter blog with a queer slant, exploring realms both serious and Sirius, overt and subtextual, canonical and fanatical. The best discussions, of course, involve your questions and collaboration. Note well, I sail with Wolfstar.











Disclaimer: This blog participates in the grand tumblr tradition of sharing and remixing. Most of the content does not belong to me. Harry Potter belongs to Joanne Rowling. I've never met Daniel Radcliffe or anyone else.

“Numbing the pain for a while will make it worse when you finally feel it.”
“I wanna lose all your demons and go,
I wanna tear off your chains ‘cause I know,”
— Melissa Etheridge
When all your promises are gone,
I’m the only one.
— Melissa Etheridge
Now there’s a hundred challenging things a boy can do.
And you’ve waved goodbye and held more tears in
than anyone ever should.
And all my sorrows pale to insignificance.
That’s why I love you.— Darren Hayes, “A Hundred Challenging Things”
That’s why we love you.
“Give me a kiss, and to that kiss a score; Then to that twenty, add a hundred more: A thousand to that hundred: so kiss on, To make that thousand up a million. Treble that million, and when that is done, Let’s kiss afresh, as when we first begun.”
— Robert Herrick
(Fab Filippo and Randy Harrison as young Sirius and Remus, respectively)
Eyes speak
when tongues neglect
and the mouth will taste
what that gaze reflects.
—me
More Hermione/Luna!
(Source: alixandra.ca)
“Together?”
“I think so.”
I intended to create a Remus Lupin/Sirius Black graphic around these lyrics, playing with the mentions of the moon and stars, the word “black”, the phrase “no other way” (cf. the One True Way, as we once called Wolfstar). The graphic became, instead, about Harry and Remus losing Sirius.
“Black out the sun,” Darren Hayes:
Take down the moon
Switch off the stars
And paint the sky black
Love isn’t ever coming back
‘Cause there’s nobody else who could hurt like you hurt me
I don’t want to be lonely
And there’s no other way
There’s no joy, there’s no meaning
Just this hollowed out feeling
And all that we shared will slowly disappear
There’s a hole where my soul used to grow
So just black out the sun
I feel the danger, the separation
I want to take your invitation
This separation it’s all around
I need this side of me
— “the Side of Me,” Savage Garden
And if all the world was perfect/ I would only ever want to see your scars/ You know they can have their universe/ We’ll be in the dirt designing stars
— “So Beautiful,” Darren Hayes
Remus/Sirius. I like to imagine Sirius whispering these words to Remus.
Andrew Garfield as young Remus.
“I open at the close.”
HB/2 Staples pencil on card paper.
Needed to prove to myself that I could draw this style. Not happy with the scan quality — something undefinable is lost.
“Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot & Prongs”
RL: Andrew Garfield | PP: Jonah Hill | SB: Logan Lerman | JP: Darren Criss
When I first received this ask, I texted andshimmy, and we had a little back ‘n’ forth something like this (paraphrased):
Me: S/o ‘asked’ me abt SNARRY.
&Sh: Hmm. SO not into crossgen.
Me: Crossgen is (secretly) my fav thing ever!! Esp w Harry. I just prefer the ppl involved actually LIKE eachother.
&Sh: I’m the opposite. Not offended by xgen, just don’t care for it. But Drarry? YES PLEASE.
So, there you have it: I’m one of those interested in crossgen — with Harry! (I know. I’m terrible.) — but not one of those interested in the Hatred-is-Passion-is-Love Trope. And I find the idea of Snape and Harry getting physical a bit squicky (could be to do with some very graphic and very skilled drawings I saw of them when I was young and impressionable). HOWEVER. There are some aesthetic reasons I find Snarry interesting.
There are the eyes. These eyes are a powerful symbol that binds Snape to Harry — before Snape ever sees them, he knows he will give his life for them. [EDIT: I wrote a poem sort of about this but now I’m thinking this calls for another].
For some reason, though, Snape is dead set against seeing any other characteristic of Lily’s in Harry, and insists Harry is his father all over again, though Dumbledore disagrees. Why? Surely he should want justification for the protection he has sworn to give — he should LOOK for Lily and not for James — eyeballs and half a genome aren’t enough. What is he afraid will happen if he sees Lily in Harry? What kind of feelings is he afraid of experiencing?
(So, that’s the beginning. It goes on like that for a while. In the middle, there’s some “penetrate your mind” business, and that’s all a disaster, they can’t work together. Harry wants to blame Snape for Sirius’s death. And then Snape kills Dumbledore. Not many opportunities to hook-up with all that going on.)
It isn’t until the end — after Harry has put his own hand into a wound in Snape’s throat and felt him bleed out — that we find out about Snape’s patronus: it’s the doe. And Harry’s is the Stag. They’re a pair, aren’t they? (Remember what Harry felt in the forest, when he saw the doe? How familiar she was, how he trusted her? How he felt she had an answer for him?) I love what the stag/doe relationship says about the quality (and compatibility/comparability) of their natures.
And we know, in the end, that Harry is, deep down, less James than he is Lily — Snape’s great love. But she’s been gone for 16 years — who is it Snape’s loved all this time?