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the slytherins making a drinking game where they take a shot every time draco malfoy talks about harry potter

also known as the night Madam Pomfrey had to save an entire dormitory from alcohol poisoning

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I never feel like more of a failure than when I can’t remember a piece of Harry Potter trivia. 



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what’s the point of being a fan if you’re not a critical one? what’s the point of absorbing media without the intention of analyzing it? i don’t understand why some people wholeheartedly defend their faves’ flaws and shortcomings, when pointing out and not supporting your faves’ problematic aspects DOES NOT MAKE YOU ANY LESS OF A FAN BUT MAKES YOU AN ENGAGED AND AWARE CONSUMER

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So a while ago there was this post going around about the houses in Harry Potter and how it makes no sense for Slytherin- the house that’s supposed to be all about personal ambition- to be the house full of people who support an evil overlord, and how it’d make way more sense for Gryffindor to be the one full of zealots who are willing to serve their master to the end. Unfortunately, I couldn’t find it, or I would have made this comment there: I realized there’s a very simple in-universe way to explain this.

It’s the Sorting Hat.

It’s said several times that the Sorting Hat’s first priority is that if a student badly wants to be in a certain house, it puts them there. Now consider- what was Salazar Slytherin’s reputation?

Even the Hat itself goes back and forth a bit about whether he intended for his house to be about ambition (which is how the song describes it in the first book) or about bloodlines (which is how it describes it in its new song later). What if Salazar told the Hat to sort to his house based on ambition (probably because Helga Hufflepuff was giving him this look like, “I respect you as a colleague but I swear to Merlin if you get your shitty opinions in my school I will fucking end you" and Godric Gryffindor had this big fake "I will hold her coat while she ends you" smile), but because he was a noted pureblood supremacist, a ton of people assumed that that was what his house was about?

Sirius says it was taken as a granted that all Blacks were to be in Slytherin, and Draco has a similar “well duh” attitude about Malfoys and Slytherin that got him sorted so quickly the Hat barely even touched his head. If it was basing it off the traits it’s supposed to be focusing on, this wouldn’t make any sense- different people, even ones growing up in the same household with very similar circumstances, will have different personalities. Which means that if being in Slytherin is a family tradition, then a lot of them aren’t there because of their personality, they’re there because, well, it’s a family tradition, and they chose to be.

(BTW: see also: Weasleys all being Gryffindors. I wouldn’t be surprised if Percy, for instance, was a bit more of a Slytherin, but put himself in Gryffindor because that’s what his parents expected.)

Somebody like Bellatrix Lestrange is, honestly, pure Gryffindor. She endures a decade and a half of Azkaban on behalf of her lord, respects and loves him above all else, and will put herself in harm’s way in any manner she needs to to aid him. She doesn’t seem to have any particular ambition on her own behalf; it’s all for Voldy. Sure, she’s a horrifically cruel monster, but there’s nothing against that in the Gryffindor charter, and nothing for it in the Slytherin one. But because she has always believed firmly in the (bigoted, racist) ideals of Salazar Slytherin, she asked to be put in his house, so she was.

And that goes a long way to explaining why so many Death Eaters and similar assholes are in Slytherin. It’s not that it’s inherently the asshole house, it’s that the assholes all think it’s the asshole house, so it’s… well, full of assholes who wouldn’t otherwise be there.

Which means there are probably a lot of Slytherins who followed the family tradition, but then, a few years in, abruptly realized, “…My god. Most of these people are terrible. And everyone probably thinks I’m just like them.”

sorry my tags were too long and weren’t showing up so i’m just posting them soz!!

this also means that there are a lot of nice slytherins, who just happen to be v ambitious and lil below-board, but not like, EVIL, who are then like, ‘fuck’, ‘i’m basically a member of the wizard kkk what the fuck’, b/c y’all know that at least some slytherins have to be half bloods or muggle born. like i’d probs be sorted into slytherin and if i was surrounded by people like pansy and draco all the time, i’d probably slap their bitch asses silly. I WILL NOT STAND FOR WIZARD RACISTS IN MY HOUSE, NO SIREE. b/c i think what people forget is that ambition does not equal evil, and neither does slytherin equal racist. i mean if you think about it it’s probably LESS likely that the purebloods would be the one who are thinking “omfg ppl think i’m just like them” b/c like. i am ambitious and conniving and a little bit mean and a lot bit manipulative but am i evil?? no. am i a horrible racist?? well i was born into a lot of privilege but i’m doing my best not to be. so if i was thrown into a house of people spitting out propaganda like draco and yelling slurs at completely innocent students in the hallways i’d be like what the fuck? what the fuck? and then i’d take them the fuck down.

which sheds light about how the whole ‘draco is king of slytherin and everybody worships him’ thing is so unrealistic?? like there is no WAY any one person would be social king or queen or monarch of slytherin for a WEEK, much less 6 years. yeah ok your family is respected and rich and shit, but you are literally in a house full of ambitious people who are not afraid to get their hands dirty in their mad scramble to the top. in slytherin, more that any other house, everything would be constantly SHIFTING and CHANGING. there is no static hierarchy, there is no one ruler. there are no rules, no loyalty except to those you choose to be loyal too. no one is better than anyone else because everyone believes that they are the best. there are no sniveling minions like pansy, or idiotic henchmen like crabbe and goyle. maybe ppl kiss up to you for a while, but that’s only so they can learn enough about you to throw you out on your ass when the time comes.

which is WHY it always sort of rubbed me wrong that all these slytherins were so fucking loyal to voldemort like. sorry. if anyone’s gonna go on a crusade for what they believe to be the greater good it’s gonna be gryffidors. if anyone’s gonna follow someone blindly it’s gonna be hufflepuffs. if anyone’s gonna not care about upward mobility it’s gonna be ravenclaw (b/c who is smartest is who is on top, which means that who is on top cannot be changed). people always seem to forget that peter pettigrew was sorted into gryffindor. it wasn’t a mistake, or a wrong call made by the hat. peter is what any gryffindor could become. people are always talking in harry potter about how everyone has good in them, but people seem to forget that everyone has evil in them too. even the gryffindors. even the hufflepuffs. even the ravenclaws. not just the slytherins.

if it was truly purely JUST SLYTHERINS in slytherin, they wouldn’t necessarily be evil or cruel. they wouldn’t section themselves off from other houses, from other peoples. how can you get people to follow you if you treat them like dogs? (you catch more flies with honey than vinegar, after all.) how can you become the best if you do not learn everything you can from the current best, and then take their place? how can you bear to only be on top of one tiny fiefdom when there are thousands of kingdoms out there that you could conquer? pure slytherin should be a house of ambition, a house of change, a house of people getting what they want, with the help of others or alone, maybe for the worse but probably for the better. it’s not our fault we had a shitty racist pureblood founder. 

lots of feelings about slytherin today. is that a change from everyday? no.

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There can only be one logical explanation for this:

Voldemort has returned….




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"Are you sure that’s a real spell?" said the girl. "Well, it’s not very good, is it? I’ve tried a few simple spells just for practice and it’s all worked for me. Nobody in my family’s magic at all, it was ever such a surprise when I got my letter, but I was ever so pleased, of course, I mean, it’s the very best school of witchcraft there is, I’ve heard—I’ve learned all our course books by heart, of course, I just hope it will be enough—I’m Hermione Granger, by the way, who are you?”

having grown up with the HP series, i have said on multiple occasions that i am hermione granger. it’s no coincidence that we’ve never been in the same room, and i too am a magical bossy know-it-all with big hair who’s smart in school.

but now…now it’s OFFICIAL. and here are the pics to prove it~

photos taken/edited by ArtsyRaccoon, it was my first time working with her and she did an AMAZING job and was so sweet, please go check her out ;-;

more photos from this shoot HERE



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(Source: char1iepace)

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:Reblogged from quiet-shes-just-weird :: Created by bitofashock:

  • me: *owns 264 unread books*
  • me: *buys 17 new books*
  • me: *rereads harry potter*

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Class and Harry Potter


"Quidditch is a rich man’s sport: like polo, in which the expense of horses limits participation to those with money or those sponsored by money, Quidditch players on old brooms can never hope to compete with those in possession of the latest technological marvels. "
-Crowning the King by Sarah Mendlesohn

The most interesting thing about Harry Potter is that it initially appears to be a fairy tale in which troubled boy finds his place in the world and lives happily ever after. What it actually amounts to is lonely supposedly lower class boy discovers he is actually one of the aristocratic elite and spends the rest of the series enjoying the moral virtue afforded to the very poor while also gliding through the doors that are only open to the very wealthy.

Harry is a member of the privileged upper class, just like Draco Malfoy. He proves himself to be a mediocre wizard time and time again (incompetent in potions class, falling behind in classes, etc), while Hermione is the smartest witch of the year and Ron is not considered distinguished enough to try for any specific title, being of the lower class. Harry, unlike the typical scrappy orphan boy, is constantly receiving gifts to ease his way. Harry receives the invisibility cloak, the Marauder’s Map, a preternatural ability to cast a Patronus, Quidditch ability from his father, and a part of Voldemort within him that allows him to fight the Dark Wizard. There is not much personal choice implied in all of this. Harry is the Chosen One, respected for something he did before he could talk, something he barely remembers, whose prestige will carry him through life. (Interesting that when others receive or give out gifts it is not judged the same way, such as when Malfoy gives his entire team of fellow Slytherins new brooms this is unanimously condemned as cheating but when Harry receives an expensive new broom out of the blue no one questions it, though he will undoubtedly exceed the speed of the other Seekers. Furthermore, when Slytherin rightfully wins the House Cup at the end of Year 1, Dumbledore fixes the match to Gryffindor’s benefit, an act that if reversed would have been protested on all sides.) 

Harry also has the exceedingly loyal Ron and the brilliant Hermione tagging along (another unflattering parallel to Malfoy’s sidekicks Crabbe and Goyle, who also look to Draco for their next move, rarely displaying any agency of their own) and Hagrid and Dobby (both troublingly infantilized and presented as ‘lower class,’ lacking intelligence and class, showing Harry’s brave tolerance in accepting them) and Sirius, Lupin, Dumbledore and even Snape, etc. Unlike the typical orphan hero, who must discovery the truth on his own, Harry has an entourage of helpers to assist him in his every move.

Hermione transcends the rigorous boundaries of class placed in the books (see narrator mocking the Malfoys’ pride at their pureblood status and then rushing to add that the Weasleys and Potters were some of the oldest magical families there were) by being a part of that elusive middle class. Hermione’s parents are dentists, they can go take Hermione traveling in the summertime, Hermione is comfortable purchasing her own textbooks and the like, but nowhere in the text is there any indication of her being wealthy. This would explain Ron’s implied resentment towards her, explaining it in terms of the lower class being jealous of the potentially for upward mobility the middle class has and the opportunities they are given. Hermione becomes attractive to the boys only after having plastic surgery, not an opportunity usually afforded to the lower class in the Muggle world and Victor Krum, the only adolescent in the book whose level of fame equals Harry’s, and thus the only male whose validation of her physically would stick, accompanying her to the Yule Ball. All of these things make Hermione much closer to the aristocracy than Ron is. As a woman in the wizarding world, intelligence seems to receive mockery but beauty allows one the innate ability to move in circles beyond one’s birth status.

This is why Ron rarely misses an opportunity to correct or criticize Hermione and her lack of wizarding knowledge (having grown up Muggle); Ron is looking for any chance he can get to prove himself worthy to Hermione, who is closer to him in status than the unimpeachably high class Harry, whom Ron rarely argues with. This is why Ron chooses to accuse Hermione at the Yule Ball of betrayal (unlike Harry, who admires Hermione’s makeover at the Yule Ball and thus validates her superficially as Krum did, both of them having the social authority to do so). This is actually the cruelest insult Ron can think of, implying that Harry Potter first made Hermione respected and now she is changing allegiances to another famous, aristocratic young man and turning her back on Harry, who allowed her to move up in status along with him. Ron, whose family is known for their poverty (hand me down robes, must be a Weasley) cannot even validate Hermione even if he were so inclined because he is too socially inferior for his opinion to matter. All he can do is attempt to shatter Hermione’s bubble of happiness and social acceptance with the harsh darkness of reality.

This also explains the trio’s attitude towards the house elves: Ron, being lower class, enjoys the pleasures of having a house elf when he can (ie whenever he is at Hogwarts), Harry in his upper class status is scarcely aware of the house elves because he is accustomed to that lifestyle (since the adoration he received in Year 1 and his discovery of his heritage and Gringotts, etc.) and therefore performs the symbolic (and self serving) act of freeing a single house elf (who will then accept Harry as his new master in everything but name, arguably a strategic move on Harry’s part, or a rare moment of sympathy for those with less but regardless this action is not repeated with Kreacher, Harry’s own property.) Hermione, as a member of the middle class, with enough money to pay for household help and enough time to focus on social awareness, is understandably the most liberal, practical and objective of the bunch, creating S.P.E.W. and attempting to make a difference. Hermione’s social radicalism is ridiculed by most for attempting to change the status quo of the deceptively rigid socioeconomic classes of the wizarding world.

Harry is a legacy at Hogwarts. There is an unflattering parallel between the way the Dursleys fawn over Dudley and the wizarding world fawns over Harry. Harry is naturally gifted, unlike Hermione who must work to be the smartest, and Ron who was raised in the Wizarding World. Harry is cozily ensconced in his wealth, occasionally pausing to feel discomfort but for the most part disregarding it as a fact of his existence. Dumbledore, like Harry, is renown for his wisdom but displays very little of it in practice, choosing instead to characterize himself as a quirky old man who loves sweets. As a member of the aristocracy, Dumbledore is permitted to do this while still retaining the respect of his peers. Think of Kate Middleton designing a clothing that is objectively terrible. This information would not matter because of who she is wed to. There is a safety the upper class enjoy that allows them greater freedom in exploration, discovery and making mistakes.

The wizarding world is not a fairy tale. Pull aside the velvet curtain and you’ll find thousands of slaves sentenced to clean up after the students for life. Step outside of Hogwarts and you’ll see magical creatures criticized and discriminated against. Go to Diagon Alley and prepare to see the brutality of class separation in action. (See Hagrid, member of the lower class, who automatically takes Harry to Madame Pomfrey’s to get fitted for robes, the same location that the wealthy Malfoys buy their son’s garments, but stays outside the shop the whole time, fully aware of the difference between his status and Harry’s.) Pop back inside Hogwarts and witness deeply inbred interhouse prejudice. The wizarding world is a mess that Harry floats above, Hermione wades through and Ron sinks under. No wonder Ron quit being an Auror (a respectable job) to work in his brother’s candy shop (that Harry paid for); it’s likely the only place he felt he belonged.

And therein lies the message of Harry Potter: the wizarding world parallels our own in that it has nearly destroyed itself, but for all the Malfoy/Dumbledore/Harrys out there, there is a Hermione, naively, earnestly attempting to make a difference. And to do that would require some serious magic.

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The American Hogwarts Houses


The American Hogwarts Houses

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My 5-year-old insists that Bilbo Baggins is a girl.

The first time she made this claim, I protested. Part of the fun of reading to your kids, after all, is in sharing the stories you loved as a child. And in the story I knew, Bilbo was a boy. A boy hobbit. (Whatever that entails.)

But my daughter was determined. She liked the story pretty well so far, but Bilbo was definitely a girl. So would I please start reading the book the right way? I hesitated. I imagined Tolkien spinning in his grave. I imagined mean letters from his testy estate. I imagined the story getting as lost in gender distinctions as dwarves in the Mirkwood.

Then I thought: What the hell, it’s just a pronoun. My daughter wants Bilbo to be a girl, so a girl she will be. And you know what? The switch was easy. Bilbo, it turns out, makes a terrific heroine. She’s tough, resourceful, humble, funny, and uses her wits to make off with a spectacular piece of jewelry. Perhaps most importantly, she never makes an issue of her gender—and neither does anyone else.


Bilbo Baggins is a girl: Until children’s books catch up to our daughters, rewrite them. (via sashimigrade)

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Harry Potter AU where someone sees Harry in his cousin’s over-sized clothing with his underfed body and hears him casually mention the cupboard in which he sleeps and calls the fucking police

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I will never get over the fact that we don’t get “God Rest Ye Merry Hippogriffs” in Order of the Phoenix.

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